Here’s a confession. I’m not a big Valentine’s Day
fan. Oh, there are aspects of it I can get behind, like the increased odds of
finding things with icing. But overall, I find V-Day a little too, well, pink
and perky.
Before you start to analyze, although I have been
ditched and dumped in my life, not once did it happen on Valentine’s Day. And
I’m not the total Anticupid. I will give love its day to clean up, dress
up and madly gush unrealistic expectations with every heartbeat.
But I think we can all agree it’s the grittier,
street-tough love happening the other 364 days that really holds everything
together. The kind of love that knows exactly how you like your coffee and
is willing to roll out of a warm bed on a winter morning to bring you a cup. Or
the love that sits with you when you’ve lost a friend, your health, a pet, a
parent or just plain lost it. The love that cherishes your vulnerability and
never turns it against you. The love that gets mad, and then gets over it.
I was talking to a true love veteran with four
children and a 60-year marriage under her heart. She has been in love with her
husband since she was 15 and now his memory is starting to abandon him. She
wonders how long it will be until she is just something else he can’t remember,
like what town they live in or whose house they just left. And, most
importantly, can he love what he can’t remember? She told me about a trip to
the grocery store when her sweetheart wandered away from her watchful eye and
was found confused, cold, lost and embarrassed in the parking lot. As she
watched a kind stranger lead him to the store’s front door, she told me she was
thinking, “I wanted to hug him and kick his butt at the same time.” If we are
honest, that’s where most of us live in love – shell-shocked and grateful all
in the same breath.
Through yoga, we are introduced to our chakra
system, seven spinning vortexes of energy in our upper body that provide
gateways beyond our physical state and focal points for concentration. Each
chakra is represented by a different color and the chakras’ locations in the
body correspond to various nerve centers, glands and physiological systems including,
of course, our heart, or Anahata
chakra. Brainwashed by Valentine’s Day culture, I had a hard time at first grasping
that the color of the heart chakra is green, not pink or red. Sometimes it is
described as being outlined with a thin pink glow.
To me our spinning heart chakra could share the
color of my home state’s shocking-green wheat fields that light up the
landscape every spring, a ribbon of pink sunset balanced on the lush horizon. I
love the idea of all of us walking around with green hearts thumping in our
chests, circulating hope and promise, nourishing body and soul and transforming
the winter landscape.
We were created by Love. It is our true essence. We
are 6.8 billion love lights born with no other real purpose than to first
remember that we are love and then love the person standing next to us in the
checkout line. If we are lucky enough to know true love in our lives, then we
have an even bigger responsibility to get our hearts spinning and pass it on.
In her book The
Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown writes “…the root of the word courage is
‘cor’ – the Latin word for ‘heart.’ Courage originally meant ‘To speak one’s
mind by telling all one’s heart.’” What if that became our Valentine’s Day
intention? I think it would require a lot more chocolate, but it could change
the world.
It’s no coincidence the Sanskrit word for the heart
chakra “Anahata” means “unstruck sound.”
Obviously, our hearts have a lot to say.
I guess pink, perky hearts will do on Valentine’s
Day. But real love sweeps us off our feet when we timidly - courageously-
hand someone our dark paper-thin heart cut with jagged edges and they lovingly
tape it to the refrigerator door, gazing on it with wonder that we would offer
such a precious gift. And then they do the most heroic thing - they make space
for us in their own bruised heart as well.
Now, that’s a Valentine’s Day I can get behind.
(The photo in this post was taken from our back
door as a storm rolled in over the winter wheat.)